Friday, February 17, 2012

So you want a baby? How to get knocked up

Here on Lady Parts, I do a lot of writing about how to NOT get pregnant. Indeed, for many of us, when it comes to our lady parts our main goal is to keep them pregnancy free. Yet there comes a time for many when those tiny little booties melt your heart, and all you can think about is, "GET ME A BABY!NOW!!"

After so many years of successfully NOT getting pregnant, you need to totally shift gears and figure out how to get a baby in your belly stat. Here are some steps to guide you through that TTC (trying to conceive) transition:

1. Stop using contraception of any kind. That means, no birth control pills, condoms, rings, patches, IUDs, or pulling out.

2. Be healthy. Get yourself eating well, exercising in a moderate fashion, and taking prenatal vitamins. If you are a smoker, stop (it is gross anyway, so this is a good a time as any to stop).

3. Make sure your meds are safe to take if you are pregnant. This includes your skin care products. Give your doctor a shout out and let them know that you are trying to get knocked up and whether any of your meds should be avoided.

4. Have unprotected sex. Yup, go nuts. Any position will do. Enjoy yourself, as the contractions from an orgasm helps pull in the sperm.

5. Have unprotected sex at the right time. Start by figuring out when you are ovulating (see my post about your cervical mucus). If you are still having trouble figuring out your cervical mucus, get yourself some ovulation strips. You can buy them at the drug store, or super duper cheap at Amazon. Pee on a stick (or in a cup and then put the stick in the cup) twice a day from around day 9 or 10 of your cycle. Some woman ovulate early in their cycle, some later, so it may take a while to figure it out when to optimize the stick peeing. When you are about to ovulate your cervical mucus gets very gooey like an egg white, and if you are peeing on a stick, you should see a positive LH surge. Drag your mister to the bedroom and get to work.

6. Check in with your lady parts doc. I recommend doing this BEFORE you are trying to get knocked up, just to make sure all the parts are in order, and there isn't some underlying condition that may affect your fertility. There is nothing more annoying that trying to conceive for a while, only to eventually find out that there was something that could have been treated that was preventing you from getting pregnant.

7. If you aren't getting a little happy face, plus sign, or "pregnant" read out on your pregnancy tests for a couple months (I would say around 6, especially if you are over 35, perhaps a little longer if you are under), give your lady parts doctor a ring. And listen to your body - if you think things are not quite right, be your own advocate. You know your body best!

Happy baby making!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Our quest for the perfect vagina

Following up on my post where I discussed the many shapes and sizes of lady parts, there is now a British documentary called The Perfect Vagina, which Lisa Rogers looks into the world of vaginal cosmetic surgery. You can watch the whole documentary here.

For those that follow this blog, you know that I think that women should learn to love their lady parts, and that lady parts should remain as they are, looking, smelling, and behaving like lady parts. Not plastic barbie lady parts that smell like roses without a nary a nether hair out of place. That is not real life, and it is absurd that many women are in constant worry about making sure their vagina fits some sort of unrealistic prototype. There was a woman who posted recently on Vagina Pagina, worried about moving in with her boyfriend and how she can make sure that she never loses the vaginal fresh scent all day long, going as far as asking if she should shower twice a day, load up on pineapple juice, use scented wipes, and nether groom daily. The lovely ladies on the board quickly informed her that these actions were unnecessary and possibly harmful to her lady parts, but it rehashed my earlier worries about our need for lady part perfection.

Now, I know some men have issues with their members (check out My Penis and Everyone Elses), but women  seem to take it to extremes; "chopping up their bits"as Lisa Rogers phrases it. There is a remarkable increase in labiaplasty and vaginal cosmetic surgery in general, making me wonder, what's next? And whose version of "normal" or "perfect" are these women trying to achieve?

That is all I am going to impart for now, but I am very curious as to what your reactions are on the matter. Have we gone too far in our pursuit of perfection? As the Joy from About Face points out, what is next, designer sexy organs?

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Public Service Announcement: Birth Control Recall

Thought I would just give you all a heads up that Pfizer is recalling some of it's birth control pills, particularly Lo/Ovral-28 and Norgestrel and Ethinyl Estradiol. EEK. Apparently there seems to have been some sort of packaging error and the pills may be incorrect, leaving you at risk for getting unintentionally knocked up.

Here is the FDA recall link: so that you can check your pill lot to see if it was recalled. If so, start using some back up protection, say a little prayer, and tell your lady parts doc.

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