Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Five questions to ask your partner before things get sexual

Sex is great. It's fun, it releases endorphins, it burns calories, it provides intimacy. All good things. Yet, there are some not so good things that come with sex too - both physically and emotionally. And while it can be a total mood killer to start grilling your partner, your long term wellness should always come first.

Here are five questions you should ask before you start taking of your clothes:
1. Are you married or have a girlfriend? If you are a-ok with being the other woman, that is fine, but you should at least be informed up front. And don't expect your partner to fess up without your prodding - people are very good at leaving out such details. There is a lot of baggage in sleeping with someone who is in a committed relationship, and you should have all the information in order to make your decision.

2. What is your sexual history? Remember in sex ed class when they taught that you not only have sex with your partner, but with everyone that they have had sex with too? Yup, that's true. And in today's day and age, that could be A LOT of people. You should totally ask your partner if they have any nether germs - STDs or HIV - and if they act kind of shady, perhaps pull your panties back up. Feel free to ask them to get tested if they haven't done so recently. On the other end, you also want to know if your partner is new to this sex thing, since that can chance your relationship with them as well.

3. What kind of sex do you like? Everyone has their own idea of what constitutes good sex. Some like it soft and gentle,some like it rough, some like leather, some like lace.It is good to say what you like and what are your boundaries so that you both are comfortable and feeling safe and excited before you start.

4. Are you comfortable with safe sex? While sex is good, safe sex is better. It is important to ask your partner if they are cool with using condoms, if they always do, and if they have ever had super risky sex (like with a sex worker). Remember that while these questions are often awkward in the rush to hook up, they can save your life. You only have one body and one set of lady parts.

5. What kind of birth control should we use? Pull and pray is not a answer unless you are ready to face the consequences of a possible pregnancy. If you aren't on hormonal birth control or have an IUD, condoms or the cervical cap are good options. Ovulation can happen at any point during your cycle (not just around day 14), and sperm do live in your lady parts for up to three days, so ALWAYS take precautions.

And lastly click here for some more information on how to make safe sex fun.

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